Let’s get drunk

Posted by Textfails Team

Let’s get drunk

Why?

Cause I’m single again.

Sorry to hear that, how come?

It might have something to do with the photos you posted of me licking that hot guy last night…

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Tips for spinning

Posted by Textfails Team

Oohhh everything’s spinning heeeelp me!

Helpful tip 1: stop getting pissed! Helpful tip 2: spin the other way to counter the earth rotation…

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Help me remember

Posted by Textfails Team

Just saw in my log that I called you Saturday night. Did I say anything stupid??

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Two sides to a story

Posted by Textfails Team

You know there’s always two sides to a story…

Yeah I know…

So which one would you like to hear? His version or the real one?

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Careful where you put that hockey stick

Posted by Text Fails Team

Hey you, where’s my field hockey stick?

I came over earlier, you were alseep, put it in your butt.

????

^car… I put it in your car…

Lmao…thank god, I was a little scared that I didn’t wake up..

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