Who are you?

Posted by Textfails Team
Hi, who are you?
Why do you text me if you don’t know who I am?
Cause you’re in my contacts “Text me for sex”!

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Babysitter

Posted by Textfails Team
That kid I’m looking after has started drawing penises! He’s only 3 years old! Where did he learn to do that??
Always knew you were a great influence!

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Toilet texting

Posted by Textfails Team
Just noticed that I can hear the neighbors through the wall when I’m on the toilet. Now I my stomach hurts!
1. Stop texting me while you’re on the crapper you pig! 2. What have your neighbors to do with your stomach ache??
I’m too scared to fart!

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Good cook

Posted by Textfails Team
Wanna come to my place tonight? I’ll make dinner for you! My cooking is even better than what I did with you in bed last night ;-)
In that case, just get some Chinese take away!!

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Car or girlfriend

Posted by Textfails Team
Of course you’re way more important than my car! I love you you’re above everything!
So I can drive your car??
What? No!!

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